Friends
Recently I decided that most of my friends were not really my friends. This was pointed out to me by my mother who asked me why my friends never called me or asked me to go anywhere. The only answer I had for her was they are busy with there own lives, and thats when I realized that my friends had outgrown me.
The situation is simple, they are either married, have kids, are in relationships but not married or are married with kids. I on the other hand have never been in a relationship, don’t have kids and therefor have nothing in common with these people anymore. I was told once that you have friends who are there for a while because you need them, then when you don’t, their gone and on to the next person who needs them. I can see where that may be true, but also I think it just has to do with life changes. Everyone changes and moves on with life. Nothing stays the same and people grow apart. What do you think?
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I think that people do change and grow apart. When friendships sort of die from lack of attention, then they are simply gone. On the other hand, I have friends that I have had for almost 33 years. Of course, it was well after I got out of school. That might have something to do with it. I dunno.
The key to good friendships is that if you want to keep them, you have to pay attention to them. The friend that I have had for almost 33 years….I haven’t always kept in touch because that was impossible. They had no way of doing that nor did I. But, the bond we made before that makes the friendship survive about anything.
We did change and move on. I was married for a long time when she was still single. Amazingly, when she got married we sort of drifted apart for a while. They got back in my life and haven’t been gone since.
I guess you didn’t actually want a whole post on this, did you? LOL! Sorry.
You have a great point, even if it was a long one! lol
Many of these friends were my friends in high school and I just think we grew apart. I do have a few friends that I don’t talk to much because they live a distance and are busy. I think you are right that you need to pay attention to your friends, I am on the other side of that and I think I just gave up trying.
Oh little Butterfly… “What is a friend?” A philosophical and rhetorical question: How exactly are you defining “Friendship?” These friends that never call and seem too busy or pre-occupied with their lives to visit or do things with you may not be your friends. Do you ever call them or seek to engage them with their interests? Have you thought about asking your friends with kids to join you for a kids movie or trip to the park? Do you enjoy spending time with them? Do you think they enjoy spending time with you? Do you feel like you could depend on them if you needed them for a favor. I’ve been blessed with many friends and many acquaintances. I’m not sure I can always distinguish between the two. But I don’t define my friendship by how much I see/talk/ or visit with them. I have some true friends that I rarely speak with but I know if we were together we’d enjoy being together and that we can depend on one another in a crisis!
Just a thought!
<p>I do agree that some friends are still friends even when they don’t talk to you often. I have a few friends who are like that and if I call upset because something is really wrong and I need someone to talk to they are there to listen, but they live a distance and it’s not the same as face to face. </p>
<p>Where my closer friends are too busy with their lives and have told me so and usually tell me to deal with my problem myself because theres are worse and more important, but then they want me to listen to theres problems and help them. </p>
<p>I just think friendship is a two way street, not a use them when your mad at your boyfriend thing.</p>