This is Everything and Anythings list of the Top 10 Funniest Thanksgiving Quotes:

10. Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.
~ Mike Connolly

9. I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the ‘history’ I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America’s traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it’s a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all.
~ Ellen Orleans

8. Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
~ Erma Bombeck

7. An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
~ Irv Kupcinet

6. I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
~ Jon Stewart

5. The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping and cooking and braising and blanching. Then it takes 20 minutes to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a food coma, and then it takes four hours to clean it up.”
~ Ted Allen

4. You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.
~ Dylan Brody

3. You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. - ~ Jay Leno

2. Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, “How long has Mom been drinking like this?” My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, “Here, kitty, kitty.”
~ David Letterman

Last but not least……..

1. I love Thanksgiving turkey… it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

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