I have noticed lately that I have stopped doing things I enjoy. I still write but that is because it brings me an income, but I noticed I don’t sing like I use to, music now actually gives me a headache. I also use to love to draw and write stories but I don’t do that anymore.

I know I’m depressed, I have been for most of my life. I also know there is nothing I can do about it. My depression comes from my life. They are things I can’t control. I’m not depressed enough to kill myself or anything but I am depressed. I have made good changes in my life, they just have gotten me no where so far.

I just wish that I enjoyed things again. I’m so tired of being stressed out about everything and crying all the time for no reason. Of course I have been told now that I’m diabetic I will have mood swings. So I’m sure some of it is that. I just keep thinking that if I could enjoy things again I may be motivated to keep losing weight without fighting with myself daily.

Maybe it’s all just part of growing up and I need to get over it and realize that what I want won’t ever happen. I’m just so tired of trying with nothing to show for it.

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