I have decided to make some more changes to my life. I have worked hard the last year or so to get rid of the things that made me feel incompetent and insecure. I have almost succeeded in doing this. There is still a few loose ends to tie up, the hardest ones to let go of unfortunately. One is a person, who I have considered a close friend, but the entire time I have known them they have used me. I have tried to stop talking to them. It hasn’t worked, apparently they don’t get the hint. Now I think I have gotten to the breaking point.
The other changes I want to make this year is to concentrate more on my writing. I love to write and I have many stories in my head. I think now is a good time to try to get them down on paper and see if I can do anything with them. I also am planning on making some personal changes, one of which is to love myself. As I said before, Most of my friends made me feel as if I were worthless. Now that they are gone I need to work on my opinion of myself.
I’m sure these changes will take the better part of the year, I’m okay with that. I will have my ups and downs, but again I’m okay with that. I have been alone for the last 10 years really, I haven’t had anyone to share things with. I have decided that I can live like this forever if I have to. I do still hope I won’t have to, but I have to face reality and realize that happy endings are only for movies and fairy tales, not real life. The ironic thing is that some people see my life as a happy ending. I have no one to worry about, and I can do whatever I want. It’s a lonely life, but I guess some don’t see it that way.
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Sunday, 17. February 2008
None of my friends remembered by birthday even in high school, and it’s worse now. It didn’t help any with my self-confidence for sure. Hawaii is so small that you can never “forget” old friends.
Michael’s last blog post..No Plans for the Future
Sunday, 17. February 2008
I live in a small town so I understand what your saying. It’s hard to get away from these people because you see them so often.
Sunday, 17. February 2008
Holly, I think you’re on the right track. Learning to love yourself, be confident and know that you’re a person who is amazing is the first step to being able to make positive changes for you. Once you start to love yourself you’ll feel worthy of good things! You’ll realize that you deserve them!
I’ve tagged you for a meme and this may actually get you to see some real positives in your life. I hope you’ll take part.
Connie’s last blog post..The Eight Meme
Sunday, 17. February 2008
Exactly, that’s why I moved away.
Where are you from?
Michael’s last blog post..No Plans for the Future
Monday, 18. February 2008
Michael, I live in a very small town in Michigan.