I can’t sleep
Right now my mind is going a mile a minute. I have no idea what I’m going to do about everything and people keep telling me what I have to do. My sisters are telling me I need to find a real job and make as much as they do. Thats not going to happen and they just don’t get it. They live in an area that is not as effected by the recession as mine. They also are able to work in fast food. I can’t for reasons I don’t want to get into.
So now I’m sitting here finding myself mindlessly surfing the Internet, reading about rhinoplasty in California and wondering what I am doing still awake. I hate getting stressed like this I keep reminding myself that there is nothing I can do right now. I have to wait and see what happens with my mom. I figure right now if she needs help around the house I’m here and can help. If I get a job, I’m not here and we have to hire someone to help. The fun thing is that she never once offered to help. Even though she makes about $1500 a month and lives with 3 other people, including another sister. I hate that because I live here it all falls on me. The one who has her own medical bills to pay and debt to figure out. I’m not saying I wont’ help. I will do what I can but you can’t tell me that I have to do it all and then yell at me because I don’t do it your way.
So now I’m up and really wanting to go to bed as I wanted to get up early tomorrow. I guess I lose. I’m too worried about money now.
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