I decided to try to call another bank and see if I could get a loan. Apparently everyone only checks the expiring credit report that is about 100 points off from the other 2 so I can’t get a loan. It sucks, I really wanted this house. Of course the fact that I wanted it should have stopped me from even trying. I don’t understand why I get my hopes up anymore. I’m never going to be able to do anything I want to. It’s been that way for 25 years why would it change now.

Sometimes I wonder why I’m still here. Why I just can’t be happy and why everyone else gets everything, but I get nothing. If you can’t tell I’m a little depressed.

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