I was hoping to get some good news this week in the form of a grant to get a new wig that will actually look like my real hair. Unfortunately the grant money is gone. Probably to a bunch of cancer patents who only needed it for a year or two. Yes I’m a little bitter, Yes they need it too, but when you are looking at people who can walk around bald because they don’t scarring and a blistery rash on their head, you do tend to get annoyed when they get all the help.

I have scarring alopecia. If you want to see pictures click here to check it out, it’s not of me, but you get the point. The first picture is closer to what I have, but mine is all over my head. Pretty much if I walked around I would be teased and pointed at relentlessly. I have had this condition since I was very young, it only started scarring when I was 12. I have lived most of my life with this and I was hoping to be able to get the chance to wear my hair up. Something I have not been able to do for over 10 years. Unfortunately I still won’t get the chance as these wigs or full cranial prosthesis, cost at least $300 plus supplies needed to attach it. Some insurance will cover them, but mine of course will not and it doesn’t look like I can find a plan that will unless I pay $300 a month, the point in that is?

So yes I’m a little bitter as I have to live with my hair loss for the rest of my life, unlike cancer where you either go into remission, die (hopefully not) or it goes away my hair will never grow back. There is no cure. I know I’m going to get people yelling at me because I’m mad at people with cancer, I’m not really mad at them, just the fact they get so much help when it comes to hair loss. While me who has to live with it gets nothing.

Maybe one day I’ll have an extra $300-500 to get one. Then I get to try to save up for when it starts to come apart. I really don’t know how long they are suppose to last. Oh well. I guess I just wear the falling apart cheep wigs I have now, not that i have a choice, I wish I had the choice to walk around with a bald head, I’d do it in a heartbeat if it meant I didn’t have to spend more money on a wig.

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A few weeks ago I was sitting at my desk and my glasses fell off, I picked them up and the frame was broken. I’m guessing my wonderful 6 month old niece did it. She loves to pull on them and I’m sure it didn’t help keep them in good shape. Of course it’s not just her fault her 1 1/2 year old brother did the same thing! I’m also sure just normal wear and tear caused an issue too.

Anyway now I am on the hunt for new eyeglasses that are cheep as it looks like my insurance won’t kick in until after I don’t have it anymore. Nice huh? I have to get new insurance, but I’m not sure I can wait 6 months to do so. I have found a couple of cool sites one that you may have heard of through the Clark Howard Show. The website is Zenni Optical and they have a really cool selection of frames starting at $8 now that I can afford. I found some frames that match what I already have, but I know my prescription is still off so I guess I have to wait until I can get that done to order anything.

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Today I called my insurance company to find out if I had coverage for a full cranial prosthesis, pretty much a very nice expensive wig. I have to wear one as I have scarring alopecia and really don’t have a choice if I want to go out in public without people staring or getting grossed out. I should have known better then to get my hopes up. Once again I wanted something and now I can’t have it. They told me it’s not covered.

I had also decided a yesterday that I would pay off some bill instead of get a laptop. Well my computer once again reminded me why I need one as it crashed yet again because of the bad video card. Unfortunately I can’t take out the card as then the computer does not run well at all, pretty much no internet for me if I remove the card.

So now I’m back to getting the laptop, that yes I still want, but I want the house more, I can’t get the house unless I can improve my credit score. The score that was okay 2 days before I called on the mortgage, but spiraled downward when I tried to apply. Apparently they have updated the scoring method because nothing has changed on any of my reports.

I’m thinking it’s time to give up and realize I will be paying almost $600-800 a month to get to school as I can’t even rent a place because of my credit. I just don’t understand how that works I can pay that much to get to school, but I can’t pay a $200 mortgage? I guess it’s just time to give up on everything, I may even have to quit school. How fun is that?

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Yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine about her new car she is getting. He old one broke down and will cost at least $5000 to fix. So she decided to just get a new, more eco friendly car. She was also looking to switch insurance companies and had been getting an auto insurance quote from a local insurance dealer. She told me later on that I was lucky I didn’t have to pay for insurance since I owned my car. I laughed and informed her that here in Michigan I have to have insurance and it’s cost me about $122 a month.

The bad part about all of this is that her full coverage was only about $40 more then my PLPD. The reason being is that they have to keep the rates low in other states that don’t require insurance. It sucks for us because that $122 a month could really help me pay some other bills.

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My little sisters and their boyfriends live together in an apartment right now, they have 3 dogs and a cat and are really looking for a home. They wanted to make sure they could actually afford one so they decided to look up what their expenses might be. They found out about how much they might pay each month for the mortgage and got home insurance quotes. They also got information on electric and other monthly bills from my one sisters boyfriend who has a house near here that he got when his mother passed. They can’t move into that one as it’s a 2 hour drive to school for 3 of them if they did that.

They think they can afford it, but they are also thinking about moving to another state in 2 years. I told them if they do buy a home get one that can be fixed up so they can sell it for a profit if the housing market gets better. I hope by then it is.

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I woke up 20 minutes ago and I could barely move, I am so tired and worn out from the last 2 days it’s crazy. I’m up now because I have to take my little brother to school then I’m heading up to the hospital.

My mom just keeps thinking about how much this is going to cost her, she has insurance, but there is a deductible so she’s going to have to pay for most of this. She’s in the same boat I am and it sucks. I just don’t get it, why have insurance when you still have to pay thousands of dollars out of your pocket before it kicks in. Even then you still have copay and all of that. It just makes me mad that we are one of the only major countries of the world that does not provide health insurance to it’s people.

Anyway it’s too early to go on a rant, maybe I’ll save that for tomorrow.

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Recently I applied for health insurance. I thought I was being taken off of my parents since I was going to be 25, but we found out 2 days ago I was not a very good thing as it’s saves me 100 a month.

I was lucky when I applied for health insurance I was covered when I was diagnosed with diabetes by the same company I applied to. So I was approved quickly and without any problems. On the other hand a friend of mine who has been diabetic since they were seven has always had problems getting insurance. Many don’t want to cover a diabetic. It’s considered a preexisting condition. There have been many times he has had to wait for insurance to kick in. He just finished school recently and got a new job. He has to wait 6 months before the insurance with this job will kick in. So he is working at both the new job and his old job just to keep the insurance. Yep you heard me, he was covered and still couldn’t get the insurance. Nice right.

I got lucky with my insurance they sent me information because they knew I would be taken off eventually. If it wasn’t for that I would have been stuck looking for insurance. I would probably have gotten onto a website like Insurance Desk that allows you to look up information on health insurance from different providers. I used a site similar to this a few years ago when I was not a student and didn’t have insurance through my job. I didn’t like it very much, but this site works a lot better. There is much more information and I would encourage you to check it out. The forms are simple to fill out and the website itself is easy to use.

I wish that everyone could have insurance. I still have a huge hospital bill I have to pay from when I was diagnosed. If I didn’t have insurance I would have had to file for bankruptcy because there was no way I could pay the $10,000 bill. I can barley afford to pay my deductible from it.

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