Everything and Anything

I went to my cousins wedding yesterday and it was fun. She was nervous but she did seem very happy so I think this will be a good thing for her. She is young, but has been with the guy for about 2 years. They seem very happy and I hope it will work well for her.

I was sad to see that no one from my father’s and her fathers side showed up but me. It seems the only time we get togeather anymore is for a funeral and when it’s a happy event no one can find time. Even my sister had to work, even though I think she just didn’t want to go as she never asked for it off. There are other issues involved with that though so I’m not mad or anything. There were a lot of people there I didn’t know. One girl had pretty cool body jewelry on though, she a nose ring that lit up purple, one of my cousions colors. That was interesting.

Anyway I found myself thinking of my life and my sisters and I talked a lot about weddings. My one little sister and I have similar taste and she pretty much wants the exact same wedding as I would have, but I’m sure she will get married first and I may just end up at a courthouse at this point as I don’t think anyone would come to my wedding. Another long story, lets say that my open house graduation had a whole 30 people and only 3 were related to me, that didn’t live in the house.

I was kinda depressed, but very happy for my cousin a very weird feeling. I almost cried when I thought about how young I still thought her to be. She lived with my family for a while and I still think of her as that little kid. Well next comes the baby, oh did I mention she’s due in January!

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I think I am burned out, I just don’t want to do anything anymore! I don’t even want to blog. I had like 5 different things I could have complained about today and I didn’t. I know I’m kinda depressed as it looks like I’ll be going to school for a while. Also with my cousin getting married I’m thinking about how much older I’m getting. I was okay with the idea of being alone for the rest of my life, then I friend called and kept talking about her kids and how excited she is to be pregnant.

So that might be part of it, but I know I’m just too stressed out about everything else. My chest pains are back again and I’m so tired. I’ve been trying some new ways to make money and one actually worked well, but I don’t have the money right now to keep advertising it. Next month I will, but I don’t want to wait that long. I’m tired of waiting for things to happen, but I can’t seem to be able to make anything happen without money.

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I love drinking tea, my favorate kind of tea right now is white tea. It’s not a very commen type of tea but I love the taste of it and the health benifites. Right now I’m into more organic type teas and I love the selection avalable at Organic Inda, they have teas like raspberry peach and red mango. They also carry herbal supplements such as tulsi holy basil that is suppose to help with stress and relaxation.

I also love their selection of gifts as I always try to find things to buy for people that are organic since many people around me have never tried some of these things. Organic India also offers free shipping for orders over $100. Another reasion to look for gifts. Tea I think is a great way to relax after a long day at work or school in my case. It’s also a great way to add more liquid to your diet and is really good on a cold day, if you like warm tea.

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I’m trying to figure out if I can afford to move in June. I just can’t seem to make it work though. I have so much going on and bills I need to get caught up on. I think I’m just going to have to stay where I am until August and then move. It sucks because I would love to get out on my own again. At the same time i know my mom can use the help for the summer with bills. She gets laid off in the summer.

I think it would be better if I waited and moved out when she can get back to work in August, but before my little brother starts school in September, that way he can help me move. It’s just a few things I would need help with and as of right now there is no one to help me besides him. I may be able to talk my little sisters and their boyfriends into it, but they may be moving then too. I’m sure I’ll figure out something. I’ve decided to start packing once I’m done driving to school this term. Over the summer I’ll be taking online classes so I don’t have to drive anywhere. It works out better that way.

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I’m one of those people who don’t choose a candidate based on anything but what that person themselves stands for. In January I believed that Hillary was a good choice for the job as president. Now I am a supporter of Obama. Why, well because I don’t agree with how Hillary has handled herself and some of the things she stands for. While I don’t agree with everything Obama has said either, I think he is a better person for the job.

The main reason being his background and what he has been though in life. He was poor he knows what it’s like to be on assistance and need help. He also speaks well which for me right now is a huge deal. I can not stand listening to Bush talk. I think we need a president who can command the attention of the citizens of the united states and people all over the world. This man could possibly do just that. My mom compares him to Kennedy. She has liked Obama since before he decided to run for president. Even then he knew how to grab your attention.

I think the problem with this election is that everyone wants and needs change, both of the democratic candidates are pushing for change and both could do it. On the Republican side I also think McCain could make some changes, but at the same time he supports things I don’t support. This election is monumental not just because of who is running but what this election will mean for the future of the united states and the world. I believe this is a huge turning point in our history and when they look back on it, I hope they will see a great and wonderful outcome, not just more war and violence.

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Ever since I was 16 all I have wanted was to get married and have kids. I’m 25 now and still no where near that goal. I’m okay with it as I have other goals I am working on but it seems like everyone around me is getting married and having kids. I know what many of you are going to say, don’t rush it and I’m not trying to it’s just something that is bugging me a little. All of my former friends still hang out together because they have kids the same age. I think by the time I get to mine there won’t be anyone for my kids to play with like that. I’m sure I’ll meet moms with kids my age, but that sharing of that time is gone.

Anyway I was surfing though blogs today and kept reading about all of the perks mommy bloggers get. It kinda made me depressed so I stopped reading. It seems like the last few weeks the world has been rubbing it in my face that I am behind in my life when it comes to romance and kids. I really think it’s just that I need to move to an area where people wait longer to get married.

Anyone else single and feeling left out?

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I think that life is crazy in general, but sometimes I think my life as a design student it even more crazy then my life was before. Now instead of going out with friends and drooling over some hot guy I sit at home and drool over Danze faucets and red paint.

I enjoy what I’m doing though and I think that is the main thing. If I hadn’t started school I would have been stuck at a dead end job and would never have started blogging. I’ve learned a ton about things that I never would have thought a designer must know, like what the little round disk in the roads mean, not man holes. the really small ones. Those mark the gird of the united states and are used by surveyors to determine where things should be put. Now you know. I love learning, yes I’m weird I know, but I do.

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