I’m trying to figure out if I can afford to move in June. I just can’t seem to make it work though. I have so much going on and bills I need to get caught up on. I think I’m just going to have to stay where I am until August and then move. It sucks because I would love to get out on my own again. At the same time i know my mom can use the help for the summer with bills. She gets laid off in the summer.

I think it would be better if I waited and moved out when she can get back to work in August, but before my little brother starts school in September, that way he can help me move. It’s just a few things I would need help with and as of right now there is no one to help me besides him. I may be able to talk my little sisters and their boyfriends into it, but they may be moving then too. I’m sure I’ll figure out something. I’ve decided to start packing once I’m done driving to school this term. Over the summer I’ll be taking online classes so I don’t have to drive anywhere. It works out better that way.

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I’m one of those people who don’t choose a candidate based on anything but what that person themselves stands for. In January I believed that Hillary was a good choice for the job as president. Now I am a supporter of Obama. Why, well because I don’t agree with how Hillary has handled herself and some of the things she stands for. While I don’t agree with everything Obama has said either, I think he is a better person for the job.

The main reason being his background and what he has been though in life. He was poor he knows what it’s like to be on assistance and need help. He also speaks well which for me right now is a huge deal. I can not stand listening to Bush talk. I think we need a president who can command the attention of the citizens of the united states and people all over the world. This man could possibly do just that. My mom compares him to Kennedy. She has liked Obama since before he decided to run for president. Even then he knew how to grab your attention.

I think the problem with this election is that everyone wants and needs change, both of the democratic candidates are pushing for change and both could do it. On the Republican side I also think McCain could make some changes, but at the same time he supports things I don’t support. This election is monumental not just because of who is running but what this election will mean for the future of the united states and the world. I believe this is a huge turning point in our history and when they look back on it, I hope they will see a great and wonderful outcome, not just more war and violence.

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Ever since I was 16 all I have wanted was to get married and have kids. I’m 25 now and still no where near that goal. I’m okay with it as I have other goals I am working on but it seems like everyone around me is getting married and having kids. I know what many of you are going to say, don’t rush it and I’m not trying to it’s just something that is bugging me a little. All of my former friends still hang out together because they have kids the same age. I think by the time I get to mine there won’t be anyone for my kids to play with like that. I’m sure I’ll meet moms with kids my age, but that sharing of that time is gone.

Anyway I was surfing though blogs today and kept reading about all of the perks mommy bloggers get. It kinda made me depressed so I stopped reading. It seems like the last few weeks the world has been rubbing it in my face that I am behind in my life when it comes to romance and kids. I really think it’s just that I need to move to an area where people wait longer to get married.

Anyone else single and feeling left out?

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I think that life is crazy in general, but sometimes I think my life as a design student it even more crazy then my life was before. Now instead of going out with friends and drooling over some hot guy I sit at home and drool over Danze faucets and red paint.

I enjoy what I’m doing though and I think that is the main thing. If I hadn’t started school I would have been stuck at a dead end job and would never have started blogging. I’ve learned a ton about things that I never would have thought a designer must know, like what the little round disk in the roads mean, not man holes. the really small ones. Those mark the gird of the united states and are used by surveyors to determine where things should be put. Now you know. I love learning, yes I’m weird I know, but I do.

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Since my mom has now realized that she is getting up there in age she has decided she wants to make some changes to our house within the next few years. I love the idea as I am learning all about handicap accessibility in homes. Right now she is thinking wood floors and a ramp out the front of the house. She’s also thinking about getting a walk in tub so that she doesn’t have to worry about climbing in and out of the tub.

Most of the things she wants to do are things that will be nice to have for a healthy person anyway so I’m all for it. The wood floors will add to the value of the house as will the ramp and it has 2 rooms on the main floor that makes this home almost perfect for an older couple with a lot of grandchildren, it’s a 6 bedroom home. I’m happy to see her thinking like this. I just hope she will have the money to do it within the next few years.

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Recently I found something out about my childhood that explains a lot about some of the things I do now. I’m not going into details as it’s very personal, but it’s almost as if my entire life now makes sense, but at the same time it’s completely screwed up. I’m relived to know I’m not crazy but part of my feels as if I should be mad.

I’m hoping that I can learn and grow from this situation, but at the same time I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Has anyone else ever had this type of realization?

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I woke up 20 minutes ago and I could barely move, I am so tired and worn out from the last 2 days it’s crazy. I’m up now because I have to take my little brother to school then I’m heading up to the hospital.

My mom just keeps thinking about how much this is going to cost her, she has insurance, but there is a deductible so she’s going to have to pay for most of this. She’s in the same boat I am and it sucks. I just don’t get it, why have insurance when you still have to pay thousands of dollars out of your pocket before it kicks in. Even then you still have copay and all of that. It just makes me mad that we are one of the only major countries of the world that does not provide health insurance to it’s people.

Anyway it’s too early to go on a rant, maybe I’ll save that for tomorrow.

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